Project Description

Cell Confessions was written while I was in isolation for a year. For about nine months my cell was in between 2 of the worst drug addicts I have ever met. Not having had the experience of substance abuse in my life, being on the walk with them for those 9 months was fascinating. When you’re in extreme long term isolation like that, the only socialization one can attain is to lay down on a freezing cement floor and scream under the crack in the door. I would listen to the trials and travails of these two gentlemen week after week. One moment they want to get out and take care of their families, but in the next breath they were manipulating their people for drug money and bragging about it on the walk. The song is almost word for word of what I was overhearing. What was in my mind when I wrote the song – while those two dopefiends lay there on that freezing cement bragging about how amazing they were at cooking meth, and how amazing it felt when they put the needle in their arm – was that I bet at that moment, bragging about manipulating their mother out of a few hundred dollars, was probably the only time in their whole lives that they would tell the truth. They didn’t have to worry about selling anyone a dream. The addiction was all that mattered.

John is joined by Matthew Epperson (#284812) on lead guitar and additional vocals.

Verse 1

This floor is freezing cold
but it’s the only way that you can hear.
Gotta holler to the cell next door.
I can’t see ya but I know you’re there.
I gotta get this off my chest.
Gotta tell the God’s honest truth.
I’m a dope fiend man.
It’s the cesspool that I choose.

Chorus

Wish I could make it up to momma.
Wish I could make it up to my kids.
Wish I could speak these words to them.
Wish I could talk to them like this.
Cause it’s a Cell Confession. Laying my soul bare.
I can’t change my ways. I won’t let myself go there.
Cause it’s a Cell Confession. Laying my soul bare.
I can’t change my ways. I won’t let myself go there.

Verse 2

How many times have I been here.
Same old cops, same old cons.
Swear to God that I won’t come back.
But the truth is I won’t ever stop.
Momma cries for me.
I make her promises that I won’t keep.
I know it’s hell for her.
But this is all about me…

Verse 3

First time I ever did a shot.
Best thing that I ever felt.
Twenty Years ago.
I tried a thousand times to get help.
I stayed awake for thirteen days one time.
No body understands the fight.
For real the Police saved my life man.
Just gonna get out and get high again!